Goodbye, Blog World

This fall would be the 5 year anniversary of my blog. I love looking back and reading my old blog posts from the beginning. When my life as a newlywed revolved around work drama, where we were going for happy hour on Friday night, what time were heading to Tallahassee on Saturday to set up our tailgate for the FSU game, sleeping in on the weekends and tanning on my back porch with a beer and a trashy novel in hand. Oh how times have changed, and my times changed right here before your eyes on my blog. It's entertaining to read about what I once considered "fun", and to think about what I now consider "fun" these days.

I'm so grateful to have had my blog here to help me through the difficult times, when writing down what I was feeling was the only way for me to cope. This blog has seen me struggle through the experience of teaching in a Title I school, battling infertility, loosing my dad, leaving my job to put myself first and braving the IVF process. It has also seen my triumph through the amazing friends and family in our lives, our travels, our reconnection with church, a National Championship for my Seminoles, my pregnancy and the birth of our baby girl. In good times and bad, when all I needed was for someone to listen and not saying anything back, my blog filled that place for me. It's amazing what kind of emotional relief can come from simply typing on a keyboard.

However, 5 years and 744 posts later, I've decided that my blogging time has come to an end. The reason, I can't dedicate myself to my blog the way that I used to. If I'm going to take on a project, I want to do it full out 100% to the best of my ability, or not at all. These past few months, I've barely been able to keep up with doing a half-ass job with my blog. So I'm going to say goodbye to the blog world for now. I will continue to write privately on my own, in my own journal and in a scrapbook/baby book for Peyton. Maybe one day, when the time is right, I will return to blogging. But for now, I want to say thank you so much to everyone who has read my posts of these past 5 years. Thank you for allowing me to share my life, my stories and my obnoxiously large quantities of photos with you.

In true Wine Down fashion, I will leave you with some adorable photos of Peyton as I sign off from the blog world for good. Thank you.

Peyton's One Year Photos by Ariel Rose Photography

Peyton Brooke {Twelve Months}

I contemplated not even posting this month at all, seeing as how this is going to be my last update before shutting down my blog and also that it's already a month late. Oops. However, I know that a lot of you are like me and you need closure. I've posted an update every month of her entire first year of life and I can't drop the ball now, with only one month left. So here it is, the final monthly update for Miss P!

This monthly update will be based on her 12-month milestones and developments as of June 13th. I will give a short up-to-date summary as to how she is currently doing at the end of this post.

Weight/Length: As of her doctor's appointment on June 17th, she weighed 20 lbs. 3 oz. and is 30 1/2 inches tall. She also received her next round of vaccines as this doctor's appointment: MMR, Chicken Pox and Hepatitis A. The doctor also told me that she is cutting teeth #7,8,9 so even though we can't really see them yet, they are back there and we can feel them!

Hair: A mix of dirty blonde and light brown. It seems to be lightening up though!

Eyes: Hazel

Diapers: Size 3 Pampers Swaddlers (regular during the day, sensitive at night)

Clothing: All 12 month sized clothing and 12-18 month sized sleepers.

Favorite Things: Books, puzzles, crib mobile, giraffe WubbaNub, bunny lovie, Little People Disney Princesses, balloons, rattles, Baby Einstein Activity Table, Musical Lion Walker, Elephant Rider, and Minnie Mouse!

Loves: Looking at books, taking apart puzzles, sleeping, playing with her toys independently, watching "Mickey Mouse Clubhouse", taking baths, when you sing to her, zoo animals, stealing your iPhone, brushing her teeth, the pool, grocery shopping, waving and clapping, pointing at everything, looking at pictures or videos of herself, peek-a-boo, "dancing" to music, squealing and "talking".

Dislikes: Us leaving her alone for too long (with the exception of sleeping), sunscreen, teething, trying to get her to do or eat something that she doesn't want to, laying down for any reason other than taking a nap, clothing and diaper changes, having dirty hands, cake, being on her tummy, being confined, and not being able to see what is going on around her.

Feeding Patterns: We are trying to use up all of the formula we still have before fully switching to whole milk. We are already mixing in whole milk with the formula and she seems to like it so hopefully the switch to whole milk on it's own will be easy. She has a bottle in the morning (4 ounces formula, 2 ounces whole milk) when she wakes up. She has waffles for breakfast after her bottle. She likes to share my waffles with me and she will only eat them if I feed them to her off of a big plate with a real fork. At lunch, she has a bottle (4 ounces of whole milk) at 1:00pm and then a variety of whatever solid foods she is willing to eat that day at 2:00pm. She currently likes cheese, green smoothies (pineapple, banana, mango, kale and spinach), cottage cheese, chicken, puffs, applesauce, and mashed potatoes. For dinner (around 5:30pm), she has a similar variety of whatever she was willing to eat for lunch that day. She is still not a huge fan of trying new foods, and I never know what she is going to be in the mood for, so I just keep trying new things every day! Before we begin her bedtime routine, she has another bottle (4 ounces formula and 2 ounces whole milk) at 7:00pm.

Sleeping Patterns: This child loves bedtime! She gets so excited for her bedtime routine and when I bring her into her room at bedtime, she just smiles and points at the crib for me to put her in it. She must get this from me because I love going to bed too! She sleeps 11-12 hours per night, typically going to sleep around 8:00pm and waking up between 7:00-7:30am. If we had a really busy day, she will sometimes fall asleep a little early or sleep until 8:00 the next morning. She still takes her morning nap religiously. Come 10:00am, she is tugging on me and pointing to her room because she wants to take her nap. She naps from 10:00am-1:00pm typically. She is starting to skip her afternoon nap sometimes and just power through straight to bedtime. However, I still put her down for a nap at 4:00pm everyday, and sometimes she sleeps for an hour and sometimes she just plays contently in her crib for an hour.

Month Twelve Milestones: This month Peyton finally started becoming a little (still very little) mobile. She finally figured out how to push up from her tummy onto her bottom so now every time she falls onto her tummy she can just get herself back on her bottom instead of getting mad and screaming for me. She also sits up on her knees and will also crawl maybe 1-2 steps before sitting back down. I can't believe that she made it all the way to her first birthday without crawling! I think she's a little lazy, just like mommy :) She is constantly trying new consonant sounds to make new words, her newest favorite word is "octa-sss" for when she holds up a piece of one of her puzzles that is an octopus. If you sit her on your lap and say "big hug!" she will throw herself onto your belly, wrap her arms around you and give you a big hug. It's the most adorable thing I've ever experienced. She finally learned how to drink through a straw correctly (no more "baby bird" feeding) and she loves to drink her smoothies through the straw. She figured out how to scoot herself down to where her mobile is attached in the crib, reach up and push the buttons on the mobile to turn it on and change the songs. She also knows how to blow kisses. I finally broke down and let her watch small increments of television simply because I literally could not get anything done around the house. So in a desperate situation, I will use "Mickey Mouse Clubhouse" to my advantage and I'm not ashamed to admit it. This kid loves her some Minnie Mouse and the Disney Junior channel is my new best friend. And last but definitely not least, Peyton turned the big ONE and she has a sassy little personality to go along with her new toddler identity. She may still look just like Jared, but she has all of my personality and I love it!

 We discovered that just like mommy, Peyton hates cake. Yes, I am secretly happy about this.

 She also hates messy hands. Diva. 

 Kappa Sigma families at Peyton's first birthday party!

 My little southern belle in her seersucker monogram. Love. 

 A trip to the zoo with cousins!

 The WubbaNub club :)

 Turning one calls for a mommy-made photo shoot

I may hate the taste of cake, but I love how pretty it looks for decoration! I'm obsessed with Peyton's first birthday cake. Publix is amazing. 

 We survived our first year of parenthood!

 I love spending my days with this girl in the playroom. 

 Thinking about crawling, maybe? Nope, just gonna keep scooting. 

 This is the most interaction she will have with our dogs. Poking their toes. 

 We found mommy and Uncle Chris' stone from 1999 at Disney World!

 Peyton's first ride on the Walt Disney World monorail!

 With my favorite girl, in my favorite place in the world. 

 Peyton's first visit to Disney's Animal Kingdom!

Peyton's first interaction with Disney characters!  

Mama Thoughts: I have a one year old. Pinch me. The woman who had never changed a diaper and only held three babies in her entire life before Peyton actually managed to keep a child alive and thriving for an entire year. Cheers to me! Now that I have one full year of mommy experience under my belt, I can confidently say that having a kid is the coolest thing I've ever done and I'm pretty darn good this mommy thing, thank you very much. With every stage, I just love her more and more. Obviously each stage brings new challenges and sometimes extremely hard days, but no matter how many difficulties we face, the abundant joy always outweighs the frustration. Peyton is truly and gift from God and the best thing that ever happened to us. I can't wait to continue watching her grow and learn every single day!  

Happy 1st Birthday Peyton!

More Recent Update: Peyton finally started crawling!!! She is crawling all over the place and loving her new mobility. She has discovered some new foods that she loves as well: french fries, hamburger, bread, peanut butter, popsicles and she is obsessed with strawberries. She is still drinking 3 bottles per day, but they are all whole milk now. She loves milk, just like mommy. She added some new words to her vocabulary: she now says "ba-ba" when she wants her milk, "na-na" when she sees either of her grandmas, and anything that has Anna from Frozen on it she points to and says "Anna". Her new favorite activity is playing on the splash pad. She loves to splash around in the water. Our neighborhood has one that we go to sometimes and we have a little inflatable one in our backyard that she loves. Anytime we go downstairs, she points to the patio where her splash pad is and wants to go outside and play in it. She is becoming quite the independent little lady! 

My child is over a year old now and still does not have an official "baby book", so it's time to say goodbye to blogging and hello to scrapbooking! 

Peyton Brooke {Eleven Months}

I can't believe that we only have one month left until our little girl is one year old! It seems like only yesterday she was a sweet little newborn, and now she is turning into a sassy toddler before our eyes.

Weight/Length: As of May 13th, Peyton weighed 19 lbs. 13 oz. and was 30 inches long.

Hair: A mix of dirty blonde and light brown

Eyes: Hazel

Diapers: Size 3 Pampers Swaddlers - We switched back to the regular swaddlers for during the day because hasn't had any diaper rash in a long time and I change her diaper frequently enough during the day that I feel like she can tolerate the non-sensitive ones. At night, we still use the sensitive ones though.

Clothing: She can still fit into some 9 month clothing, but also wears a lot of 12 month clothes already. All of her sleepers are either 12 months or 12-18 months due to the length of the legs. One piece bubbles or rompers are still my favorite because they are the easiest more her around in.

Favorite Things: Books and puzzles! She could play with nothing but books and puzzles all day long, which makes the teacher in me super excited. Of course, we still can't live without the giraffe WubbaNub. She also really likes rattles and balloons. She loves this Musical Lion Walker too, not that she can use it to walk yet, but she likes to push it and use it to help herself scoot around.

Likes: Looking at books, taking apart puzzles, taking baths, zoo animals, brushing her teeth, the pool, grocery shopping, waving and clapping, being upside down, imitating you, pointing at things, sitting up on her own, picking up everything she can get her hands on and throwing it, looking at pictures or videos of herself, being held up to stand or dance, peek-a-boo, "dancing" to music, squealing and "talking".

Dislikes: Strangers, us leaving her alone, teething, trying to get her to do or eat something that she doesn't want to, laying down for any reason other than taking a nap, clothing and diaper changes, taking away her bottle before she is finished, solid foods, having dirty hands, being on her tummy, being confined, and not being able to see what is going on around her.

Feeding Patterns: Peyton still has a bottle of formula three times per day. She has 6 ounces when she wakes up in the morning (between 7-8am), 4 ounces after she wakes up from her nap at 1pm, and 6 ounces before bed at 7pm. The ever exhausting battle with the solid food still continues. I attempt to give her solid food three times per day and it's the worst part of my entire day. She has breakfast around 9am, lunch around 2pm and dinner at 5:30pm. Currently for breakfast, she will eat a couple bites of my waffle (it has to be my waffle, if I make her one of her own, she won't eat it), some yogurt and cereal puffs. It's a chore to get her to eat anything at all, but this is currently all I can get her to accept in the morning. For lunch and dinner, she is typically willing to eat sliced chicken breast deli meat, shredded cheddar cheese, cottage cheese, and green smoothie (banana, mango, pineapple, kale and spinach). Some days she will eat only one of these options and some days all of them. I basically have to try each one and figure out what she is willing to eat that day. Additionally, she has weird preferences for eating each item. For example, the only way I can get her to eat the smoothie is to suck some of it up into a straw and then "baby bird" feed it to her from the straw. The only way she will eat cottage cheese is from the carton off of a regular adult spoon. We don't use bowls or plates because she refuses to eat food off of them and just throws them across the room. She has a lot of weird eating quirks and it's exhausting. I know, this all sounds completely ridiculous, but trust me when you spend hours upon hours day after day fighting with your child and it comes down to giving in to their little quirks or them not eating anything, you just give in and then you can feel guilty about it later. If you've been through this phase with your child, then you know exactly what I'm talking about. I used to be one of those people who would pass judgement on moms who "allowed" their children to only eat chicken nuggets and mac-n-cheese. I used to think that it was the mom's fault that their kid was a "bad eater", but now I've been there and I have one of those "bad eaters" and I know that I've done everything in my power to try and get her to eat what I think that she "should" be eating and it's just not gonna happen. So let's just say that I will never again pass judgement on another mom for what she feeds her child; do what you've got to do girl and don't let anyone make you feel bad about it. I mean, can you blame the kid? Mac-n-cheese is delicious after all.

Sleeping Patterns: Thankfully, this girl is still an expert when it comes to sleeping which is a huge blessing. I guess she makes up for her shortcomings in the eating department by letting me sleep at night. I'll take it. Peyton goes to bed at 8:00pm every night and wakes up between 7-8 in the morning. She then takes a nap from 10am-1pm and another nap from 3:30-5:30pm. She definitely loves to sleep! Obviously, this schedule only happens on days that we are home all day. On days that we are out of the house, she is pretty good about being flexible with her naps and just catching up on sleep whenever we are riding in the car.  

Month Eleven Milestones: My genius mother suggested that I make Peyton a green smoothie in an attempt to get some sort of veggies into her, since she refuses to even look at them. It totally worked. I make her the Island Green smoothie from the Tropical Smoothie recipe (I used to work there) minus the added sugar. She really likes it and I am so thrilled! At least it makes me feel a little better about her only wanting to eat cheese the rest of the day. Ugh. She also tried cottage cheese for the first time and really likes that too! I mean, its not really healthy or a vegetable, but at least it's something else I can add to the list of like 3 things that she will actually eat. Peyton currently has 6 teeth and she added "hi" and "nuh-nuh" (her version of "num or yum" and she says it when she is eating) to her vocabulary this month. She is still mostly immobile and does not act like she has any interest in crawling or walking anytime soon. She did recently start "scooting" on her bottom a little bit. She doesn't scoot constantly or very far, but when she is playing on the floor she will slowly and gradually sort of scoot herself in the direction of something she wants. I guess that's some sort of progress. Pre-baby Jacki would have been totally freaking out about the idea of my child not being on track for the developmental milestone of crawling, but the thought of having to chase her around sounds so exhausting and messy that I'm totally okay with enjoying what's left of her immobility. I figure when she's ready, she will get up and go somewhere. Until then. I'm not going to worry about it or add anything else to my mom guilt plate.  

We celebrated the upcoming arrival of Baby Anne with my childhood family friends. All three of these special girls in my life have June 13th birthdays!

We took daddy's aunts and grandma to the beach when they were in town visiting!

Peyton had her first flower girl experience in Grammy's wedding!

 Summers are for Lilly Pulitzer dresses

A favorite activity - playing on the back patio 

Celebrating Cinco de Mayo with our church friends!

A new favorite food - green smoothies! 

We celebrated my first Mother's Day together in St. Augustine with our mommy and me matching Lilly Pulitzer outfits.

Peyton made special photo gifts for her grandmas on Mother's Day

 Peyton loves going to the zoo!

Post-zoo lunch date with our friend Harrison and his mommy, Emily.  

Enjoying the awesome pool and water park in our neighborhood!

Mama's Thoughts: Peyton is definitely coming into her own personality these days, and it's not always pretty. When she's in a good mood and doing what she wants, she's a blast. When she's sleepy, in a bad mood or not doing what she wants to do, watch out. Super grump. She's also currently going through this separation anxiety phase where she doesn't want me to leave her alone when she's awake. She doesn't even want me to play with her, she just wants me to sit next to her while she plays or carry her wherever I go. And I've tried wearing her in a wrap/carrier while I attempt to do things and she hates it. She doesn't like being confined, so putting her in a carrier, bouncer, walker, etc. while I do housework is even worse than just leaving her on the floor to scream play. Either way she freaks out and screams, so basically I get nothing around the house accomplished these days. I hate having to choose between giving in and letting her get her way (which makes me feel like I'm spoiling her and creating a needy monster) or leaving her to scream and cry nonstop and get so upset (which makes me feel even more guilty). Occasionally, we have some sweet moments together when she wants to snuggle or give me her big hugs. Then, my heart melts and I forget all about her little crying fits and dramatic ways with her picky eating. Despite our rough patches lately, there's nowhere I'd rather be everyday than at home with my sassy girl. We have so much fun together and I'm enjoying every last moment of her time as a "baby" before we embark on this new journey in the life of a toddler!  

Happy 11 months sweet girl!