Last night was a pretty epic evening of television. I still can't decide which was program ended up being a bigger train wreck, the season premiere of
The Bachelor or the BCS National Championship. Both were absolutely horrifying.
But first, let's rewind about 6 months. I never watched this
Bachelor/Bachelorette nonsense until last summer. My sister-in-law lived with us over the summer and forced me to watch it with her. Much to my dismay, after the first two episodes, I was hooked. Damn her. After that season ended, I swore I would never watch that crap again. And then Sean from last season became the new Bachelor. Damn it again.
So last night I had a decision to make:
The Bachelor season premiere or the BCS National Championship? Pre-"summer of 2012 Jacki" would have never even hesitated in that decision. Football always comes first. However, I let my guard down and decided to watch
The Bachelor in our bedroom while Jared watched the game on the big screen. I figured that by the time
The Bachelor was over, it would be halftime and I would be able to catch the rest of the game. Boy, did I make the right decision. During commercial breaks, I would switch over and watch a few minutes of the
bloodbath game and then go back to my far more entertaining television program. I watched part of the second half before declaring this the most boring game of football ever played and going to sleep.
So here are my thoughts on the 30 minutes of the BCS National Championship that I did actually watch...
- I feel bad for the Notre Dame fans that paid like $1500 to witness that butt-kicking in person. Yuck.
- Alabama won another national title. Whoop-dee-do. Who cares. I really wanted Notre Dame to win just so that someone else could have a turn.
- Sometimes I wonder about the stylists they hire to dress the ESPN College Gameday analysts. Whoever put that tie on Urban Meyer should be fired. Immediately.
- Jared and I have decided that we think ESPN reporter Samantha Steele is pregnant and that is why her and Christian Ponder (Minnesota Vikings quarterback and former FSU quarterback) got married after only dating for like a month. She has been wear lots of flowy shirts lately...perhaps?
- AJ McCarron's girlfriend,
Katherine Webb, is freakin' adorable. My sorority sister,
Anna, works for the company that produces some of the pageants here in the southeast and she actually knows Katherine personally (Katherine was Miss Alabama in 2012). Let's just say, he's a lucky guy.
- Overall, the game was boring and disappointing. A game between the best two teams in the country should at least be exciting and remotely close in score. Oh well, football season is over now. Sad face.
Now, onto the bigger and more exciting train wreck of the evening,
The Bachelor...
Sean and his ladies...who all apparently dressed for the senior prom?
First of all, I feel bad for some of these girls and their parents. Especially their parents. I can't imagine what it must feel like to watch your daughter make an ass of herself on national television. Each time one of the girls got out of the limo I would think to myself, "there's no way that she can be crazier than that last one". And then she was. I understand that there are 25 girls meeting him and each one wants to make a lasting impression, but some of these girls went a little over board.
So I think that more than anything, The Bachelor can teach us what not to do when meeting a cute guy for the very first time...
- Arriving in a wedding dress. That's not funny. It's crazy.
- Attempting to do a back walk-over in a floor-length gown and falling on your head in the process.
- Pulling a silk tie from your cleavage and making inappropriate 50 Shades references.
- Attempting to dress like Cinderella and talk in a fake Southern accent.
- Proclaiming that your father is going to break his legs if he breaks your heart.
- Making it obvious that you had too much to drink on the ride in
- Singing while looking like an oompa loompa. Just say no to spray tanning.
Ultimately, I think my favorite girls so far are Lesley and Sarah. I liked Tierra when she first got out of the limo, but I am thinking that she is going to cause a lot of drama ultimately. Mostly based off the fact that in the upcoming previews, they show her acting crazy, being mean and screaming at the other girls, and then getting hauled off in an ambulance on a stretcher. Karma? This is going to be one hell of a season.
My sister-in-law has a sorority sister who writes a phenomenal blog about reality television. You can read her commentary on last night's episode
here. She sums up the episode well, gives the play-by-play and her commentary is much more entertaining and witty than mine. It's a good read. Enjoy.
