Bumpdate {36 Weeks}

I got to celebrate my first "pseudo" Mother's Day this week! We didn't really celebrate much, since my 1st official Mother's Day won't technically be until next year. However, I was just excited to be able to enjoy this holiday for the first time in a few years. The past two Mother's Days have been terrible for me because we were trying to get pregnant and failing miserably. While I tried to focus on celebrating my own mother and mother-in-law on those days, it was hard watching everyone around me rejoicing in something that I wanted so desperately but could not attain, being a mom. Two years ago, I suffered in silence as we were trying to conceive on our own but had not told anyone, even our families, yet about our plans. Last year was probably the worst of all, as we had already tried multiple fertility treatments with no success. We had just completed our third IUI cycle and the timing worked out where I actually had to take a pregnancy test on Mother's Day. What a cruel coincidence. Obviously, the test was negative and what a shot to the heart that was for me. However, that horrible experience made me realize how special mothers really are because I got to spend the rest of that day on the beach with a cooler of beer being comforted by my mom and my mother-in-law, who were more concerned with helping me cope with my disappointment, rather than celebrate a holiday that is supposed to be all about them. Isn't that why mothers are so awesome? Because even on their own special day, they still put their kids before themselves.

This year, I am feeling so blessed to have my own amazing mother and mother-in-law and to finally be able to become a mother myself. It is such a wonderful gift. However, in light of this holiday, I can't help but think back to how far I've come. Although I am overwhelmed with joy as my impending due date fast approaches, I can't help but feel like I am still so undeserving of this blessing. Why are there so many women out there who can't become mothers? Why do I get to be one of the lucky ones? My heart aches for them because I know what to feels like to believe that you will never get the opportunity to become a mom. I pray that all of those women will one day be blessed as I have been and overcome whatever obstacle is in the way of their motherhood. All hope is not lost. As a woman, whether you are technically a mother or not, you have an impact on someone's life and that is worth celebrating. I hope everyone had a wonderful Mother's Day celebrating the awesome women in their life.

Week 36: May 7 - May 13

Week 36 Milestones:

- Baby is the size of a honeydew this week! All of her systems and organs are in working order and ready to function on their own when she makes her arrival. From here on out, she will just keep packing on the pounds and getting those lungs ready for her big debut.

- We crossed over the 40 pound mark this week, ahhh! As of today, I have officially gained 42 pounds of pregnancy weight. Thankfully, I was blessed with a 5' 10" frame that makes carrying all that extra weight not so horrible. Although my poor swollen feet would tell you otherwise. I basically look like a dinosaur from the knee down all the time now. My calves, ankles and feet are so full of fluid it is out of control. While this is not super painful, it's definitely not comfortable or attractive to say the least. And yet, despite all this weight gain and constant pressure, my belly button is still in! Well technically flat, but not poking out at least!

- Warning: this part is gross and a little TMI so feel free to just skip over this bullet point if you aren't interested in the latest status of my whoha. As much as I hate to disgust you all with this graphic over share, remember that this blog is not just a means for me to share my experience with y'all but also a way to document my journey for myself. And I want this milestone documented for myself, so you''ll just have to deal with it. Don't say I didn't warn you. I lost my mucus plug on Monday (at 36 weeks and 5 days) which is exciting because that is often one of the first signs that labor is approaching. The mucus plug is pretty much exactly what it sounds like, a plug made of mucus that stops up your cervix and keeps bacteria from getting into the uterus and reaching the baby. For a more accurate medical description, just Google it...but Google at your own risk because it's kind of gross. Once the mucus plug is gone, the rest of the early labor process will slowly begin...baby will descend farther into the pelvis, I might start having more contractions and my cervix might even start thinning and dilating. Now, just because my mucus plug is gone does not mean that I'm going to go into active labor and deliver this baby like tomorrow (even though tomorrow technically is a full moon) or anything. It could still be up to 3 more weeks before I have any additional labor signs. What this does mean is that I could start going into labor at any time now (eek!) which means that shit just got real and I need to get my butt in gear. So from here on out, it's just a waiting game for her arrival. Sorry for the over share :)

- I have been experiencing a lot more Braxton Hicks contractions recently and Peyton has been moving around like crazy. My poor belly is taking quite the beating. Her movements are becoming very sharp and aggressive at night especially, and some of them are pretty painful. Sometimes I feel like she is trying to break out of there and just hasn't found her way out yet. I need to send her a memo that punching your way through the wall of my stomach is not the way out there sweetheart.

- The most uncomfortable and painful symptom I have had lately has been intense pressure in my hips and pelvis. My hips get so tight and sore, especially if I have been sitting for an extended period of time, and sometimes I have sharp pains and pressure when I try to walk or move. So I basically spend the majority of my day battling between too much time on my feet which results in swollen feet, but stretching and relief for my hips...and too much time sitting which causes pain and tightening in my hips and pelvis, but relieves some swelling from my feet. I can't win.

- Thank you Jesus for keeping some of the particularly horrible third trimester symptoms away from me. I have not been experiencing any heartburn, indigestion, constipation or hemorrhoids yet and I am praying that it stays that way. Although I am tired and uncomfortable most of the time now, I am feeling so blessed to not be dealing with any of those other symptoms currently. Fingers crossed.

- Food preferences: Strawberries. I bought two cartons at the grocery store yesterday, and I've already eaten them all. At least they are good for me :) Milk. I just can't get enough milk. For example, yesterday I drank 7 glasses of milk in one day. Three glasses with breakfast, two glasses with dinner and then two glasses with my snack before bed.

- One thing about being pregnant is that you have absolutely no shame or regard for being embarrassed. Alas, I am going to tattle on myself with this funny story at my own expense. Ever since she dropped, I have pressure on my bladder all the time. I go to the bathroom at least every 30 minutes. Sometimes I will have just gone to the bathroom and by the time I reach the other side of my house, I already have to go again. I'm sure you can see where this story is going. On Sunday, the weather was stirring up pollen and such so I was doing a lot of sneezing on account of my allergies. As I'm walking toward my bedroom to get ready for bed that night, I start having a Braxton Hicks contraction. No big deal, I just keep on moving. The problem arises when in the middle of this contraction, I sneeze. Now, a pregnant lady can only tighten so many muscles at once, so a contracting uterus + sneeze which causes my pelvic muscles to contract as well = uh oh. And so right there on my dining room rug, I peed myself. Just a little bit. I simply stopped dead in my tracks and said, "oh no", and then started laughing. Without even having to say what happened, Jared started laughing too because he already knew. So that night, I joined an elite club with Sadie and Lola (our dogs) of "girls who have peed in our dining room". A moment I will never forget, that was just too funny not to share. Hey, at least it wasn't in public...but then again we still have 3 weeks left so anything is possible.    

 Peyton attended her very first TPC! (Read my post about it here) 

Peyton took her first trip down the aisle as her and I were honored to be a bridesmaid in my childhood friend, Lindsay's wedding! (Read my post about it here)

My Mother's Day gift from Jared...a cute hospital gown for me to wear for delivery so I can be comfortable and pretty for Peyton's arrival. Yes, I realize that there is a high possibility of this thing getting ruined during the delivery process, but I wanted one anyways. Remember this is my first kid, so I get to do that whole "let's not be practical and spend money on all kinds of unnecessary things just so we can have a magical first birth experience" this time around, and then for the second kid we'll just say "screw it" and go with the flow. However, I do have a little bit of practical reasoning behind this thing. I despise hospital gowns. They make me feel gross, they are always ginormous and I can never get them to tie properly so I am constantly paranoid that the whole thing is just going to fly open at any moment. Basically, they just make me uncomfortable and with all I'll have going on, I need to do whatever I can to make myself feel as comfortable as possible. I realize that when it actually comes to pushing time, everything will be all hanging out anyways so that's definitely not my concern. It's the laboring process where I'm hoping that this gown is really going to come in handy. I'm planning on doing a natural delivery (yes that means no drugs, I know, go ahead and judge me) so the plan is for me to be up and around while I labor, not just lying in the bed. Which is what drew me to this gown. It has snaps all over it so I can feel secure when I'm up moving around in my room or walking the halls, but then has plenty of access for delivery and nursing afterwards. This gown came from a shop on Etsy called ModMum.

Since we are getting to the point where I could technically go into labor at any time, I decided that I should probably start packing my hospital bag just in case. Up until this point, I've kind of just felt like I was going to continue on being pregnant forever. Now, it's starting to feel more real...like any day now I could be going to trade in this belly for an actual human being. Surreal.