Engagement

I have a lot of friends who are currently engaged, which gets me thinking back to when I was simply a fiancée and not yet a wife. Now, I am 5 years wiser with 4 years of marriage under my belt. So obviously that makes me qualified to give all sorts of advice on engagement and marriage. Not really. However, I can say that my husband and I have had to endure some tough life experiences that many couples don't see in their first 20 years of marriage, let alone 4. Therefore, I am dedicating this post to all of my engaged friends out there. The best is yet to come.

Dearest engaged friends,

Enjoy every minute of your engagement. I know that you are probably counting down the minutes until your wedding day, but don't forget to enjoy simply being engaged. You will never get the opportunity to be a fiancé/fiancée again (hopefully), so live it up. I know that planning a wedding can be stressful, but you have forever to be husband and wife. Twenty years from now, you want to be able to look back on your engagement fondly and remember all the fun you had embarking on this new journey together.

Your wedding guests love you and they will have a great time at your wedding no matter what. They don't care what songs the DJ plays or what kind of food is on the buffet. The wedding is about you, don't forget that. They have come to your wedding because they want to see you happy, not for the free bar tab (ok, maybe a little bit for that, I mean who doesn't love a free bar tab? Just kidding).

There is no "right" way to be engaged or have a wedding. Do whatever you want to do and f*** everything else :)

The people in your wedding party are there for a reason. Use them. Their job is not just to stand next to you and look pretty on that special day. Delegate the wedding tasks and have them help you out. Don't be afraid to ask for help. They agreed to be in your wedding party because they love you and they want to help you.

Don't feel pressured to stick to the status quo. Just because you get married doesn't mean you have to buy a house, start a career or have kids right away. Take the time to enjoy being husband and wife. If there is a trip that you always wanted to take, kids and a mortgage can wait. Seize the opportunity to have a really cool experience with your new spouse.

Don't lose your identity. You may have gained a spouse, but that doesn't mean that you have to lose yourself. Spend time apart from your spouse. Spend time alone. Spend time with your friends. You don't have to do everything together. Find activities that you enjoy doing together and activities that you enjoy doing apart.

Things will not go as you planned. And while this might seem tragic at the time, it will make for one hell of a story in the future. Control the things you can control and let go of the things you cannot control.

Take advice from your parents. You can learn so much from them. Whether you learn the things you want out of marriage or the things you don't want out of marriage, they have a lot of wisdom and experience to offer.

Do something for your fiancé/fiancée even if you don't enjoy it simply because you know it makes them happy. Marriage is all about compromise and communication, so why not start now?

It might feel like you can't imagine loving your fiancé/fiancée any more than you do right now, but trust me, you can and you will. It only gets better from here.

If there is anything that I have learned in these past four years, it is to spend every possible moment with the people you love. Tell them that you love them every single day. Our time here is short, so we might as well spend it with the people we love. Best wishes to all the engaged couples out there :)