Intentional Relationships

In church today, our pastor talked about intentional relationships. He spoke about how Jesus intentionally created relationships with people rather than simply preaching or performing miracles from a far. He was able to reach and transform people because he got to know them personally and he got to know them on purpose. As I was sitting in church listening to this message, I couldn't help but think about my dad.

In this regard, my dad was a lot like Jesus. If you knew my dad, you would know that Jesus is not the first thing that comes to mind when you interact with him. He liked to go fishing with his buddies, drink beer and tell dirty jokes...not exactly "Christ-like" qualities, but he was a believer. I'm sure that even he would find my comparison of him to Jesus a little far-fetched as well. However, my pastor always preaches about how we all have spiritual gifts, and today I realized that my dad's spiritual gift was intentional relationships.

Most of us (especially me) go through life just passing people by. We don't stop and take the time to build an intentional relationship with people who aren't our family or friends (and sometimes we don't even build a relationship with the people who are already in our lives). For example, take the person who bags your groceries at Publix. You might see them once a week, exchange the cordial "hi, how are you" and then go about your day. Although you see this person over and over, week after week, you know absolutely nothing about them. Why don't you know anything about them? Do you not have time? Do you just not care? Do you have too many other things to worry about? If we all acted more like Jesus, we would take the time to get to know the people we interact with throughout our day and build an intentional relationship with them.

This is how my dad was like Jesus. My dad got to know every single person he came in contact with. Sometimes he would go to Winn-Dixie for one item and he would be gone for two hours. Why? Because he took the time to engage in a meaningful conversation with each person he interacted with at the Winn-Dixie. He knew every person that worked there. He knew their names. He knew about their lives. He built intentional relationships with these people. Why? Simply because he was friendly and he liked talking to people. And the employees at that Winn-Dixie loved him. Everyone in the store would light up when they saw him come through the door.

When I was a kid, going somewhere with my dad (even somewhere as simple as the grocery store) was like a four hour expedition. My dad stopped and talked to every single person we interacted with. He would ask everyone what their name was and introduce himself. At the time, I found this really annoying. I remember thinking, "why is he doing this? No one cares who he is. Why does he care who this person is? He doesn't know them." I kept wondering why he always wanted to stop and have a "real" conversation with these strangers. I kept wanting to say to him, "just say 'hi' and keep moving".

I don't know about you, but when I go to the grocery store, I try to not engage in conversation with other people. I want to get in and out as fast as I can, so I go for as little interaction as possible. How terrible is that? What is so important in my life that I can't slow down and take a couple minutes to have a meaningful conversation with my cashier, ask her how her day is going and be willing to actually listen to the answer? Maybe I need to be more like Jesus, more like my dad.

Moral of the story: take the time to build intentional relationships with the people around you. Get to know the person who bags your groceries, your next door neighbor, and the barista at Starbucks who makes your coffee every morning. Get to know them and do it on purpose.

Here is my challenge for you this week...go out of your way to be friendly to a complete stranger. Find someone you see around semi-regularly (a neighbor, employee at a business you frequent) and intentionally start a conversation with them that goes beyond a cordial greeting. You might just make their day :)